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Monday, November 14, 2011 @ 9:17:00 PM
Oops haha I realised I talked about this in the previous slide already. Nevermind, this is for details :D
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@ 8:59:00 PM
Hello :)OP is tomorrow. Trying to memorise my script cause there were some last minute changes, but I'll just stop by here for a short while. It was so embarassing last Friday. Cause I was really stressed up + tired (I didnt sleep a wink on Thursday cause we had to prepare the new slides, rewrite the speech and memorise it by Friday) + scared of my super-duper-domineering-and-fierce-but-at-the-same-time-loveable-and-adorable-at-times PW teacher, so I cried. I know, I know. It's fucking embarassing. I seriously hate crying infront of people cause I don't like showing people my vulnerable side. though I look vulnerable enough already. Anyways. I cried cause i was so super stressed up, and my PW teacher was really angry at that time cause another member did not memorise his script properly, so he chased him home. Even though that morning I memorised my script already, i fell asleep a few times, plus I was really scared and tired, and the absence of cue-cards made me feel so insecure, so I couldn't remember the script anymore. Although I stumbled throughout my presentation, I still completed it. But I took 7 minutes, too long for the limit of 5 minutes, and when he read my script aloud, it only took him 4 minutes at a comfortable pace, so he asked me the reason I took 3 minutes loonger than supposed too. I was already swallowing my tears for about two hours, so when I opened my mouth to say "I don't know, my mind will just go blank when I stand here", my tears came out. Shit. I wanted to slap myself seriously. But I couldn't. haha, cause I hate being slapped. The two teachers were freaking shocked. Okay, everyone was shocked. I really hate it. In the end, my teachers said they would help me out, which made me really guilty and stuff cause the last thing I ever want to do is rely on people. I want to be independent and depend on myself, so when I have to be reliant on people, I don't feel at ease. Anyways, I told my friends and they told me to practice more. I did. And I realised, I could do it. Today, my PW teacher even clapped for me. I feel that my hard (?) work really paid off.. So I really really hopr that I won't screw up tomorrow. Anywayssssssss.. I really really like my PW teacher. As in not that kind of like. As in I think he's really admirable. He's so smart seriously, and his English is so good, and his mind turns very quickly. Idk. He's that kind of teacher where you can befriend with, but at the same time you can't step on his toes. Idk how to describe. It's the first time I met a teacher like him. but one thing's for sure - He really is genuinely concerned about the welfare of his students. Anyways, enough of PW. Now, my Taiwan trip!~ It was purely a shopping trip, and it has - gladly - fulfilled its purpose!! Bought many stuff at great deals!!! :D But after thinking about it, if you include the air fare and hotel fare and average it out, it'll be around the same price as buying them in Singapore. So I guess it's also for the experience? haha, not like I never rode a plane before, but, whatever. The more the merrier, right? ANYWAY, Taiwan has WAY more nice clothes than Singapore, so it was worth it too~!! Go my facebook to see the photos ;) |
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Friday, November 11, 2011 @ 7:12:00 PM
Pent up emotions finally exploded into streams of tears.Eyes stinging cause I didn't sleep a wink last night. PW has officially made me feel like I'm a useless person that is of no use. I can't write a proper script I can't do a proper presentation I can't hold my tears infront of people I can't contribute to group work I can't I can't I can't. Can't everything anything. I'm so lousy. I wanna just scream my lungs out. WHY AM I PERFECTLY IMPERFECT?! HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT?!!?!!!!!!!! |
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@ 12:38:00 AM
I scrapped plans to go to Korea and went to Taiwan instead, but before I go into the details of my super-extremely-duper-brilliant trip to Taiwan, please let me rant.I hate PW. Seriously. It's like the suckiest part of JC life. As if cramming so so much academic stuff into our brain in two years isn't enough. I know it'll end soon, but the wait is driving me crazy. I thought it would be fine, but it's not at all. Our teacher wanted us to completely change our presentation at the very last minute, and not only did I caused my group to rush through the slides (Because i went overseas so we couldn't discuss on our new idea, and just decided to stick to our old one. But our teacher told us to change it at the last minute, and asked us to memorise our 5 MINUTE SCRIPT in less than 12 hours. Including sleeping time, time to correct the slides, and eating time.) It's crazy shit. I know he wants us to do well and everything, but the pressure and responsibilities are squeezing the air out of me. And right now, I want to change my slides, but I don't know what my teacher wants. I don't know what to do. Idk, but I have a feeling my group members hate me. You know girls' intuition are always very accurate. There's no reason or supporting evidence etc., I just feel that I'm that hate-able. Argh.. So frustrated right now. With so many things on my mind: how to be more confident, how to be a good speaker, how to speak loudly and clearly, how to stop my mind from blanking out as soon as I stand infront of the crowd, why would my pw mates hate me, etc.., I'm really going mad. Idk what to do. I really sincerely truly want to give up. But how can I?? First and foremost, the project's not mine alone. If I give up I'll pull down the other members. Of course I'll pull myself down too. And it's gonna end, so I don't really like the idea of giving up halfway, and especially this is not even halfway, it's like 9/10th way?! And plus it's constitutes the actual A level scores, so unless I want to sweep the floors or serve customers at McDonalds for the rest of my life, I really have no other choice but to continue. I really want to regret taking this path, but I know I'll regret it if I dont take this path. Idk how to describe this. I know it's for me, and I know I can do it, but it's really tiring me out. How I wish there's someone to stay by me to listen to me rant, to let my tears soak his/her shirt, to hug me tightly to give me strength to continue on with a smile, even if it's a forced one. I don't mean I'm bisexual p.s.. Just a random person whom I can rely on. At least I wouldn't feel so tired. Cause right now, it's really quite obvious I've no one to turn to other than this dead blog. but I'm glad it's dead. At least I can type whatever I want and no one will see it cause people only check Facebook and Twitter/Tumblr whatever these days. Okay stop it I'm digressing too much. Back to work. Just hope that someone will be able to understand.. #justsaying Labels: rants |
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Friday, August 26, 2011 @ 9:58:00 PM
hello. I'm back for good news :D
I. WILL. BE. GOING. KOREA. AT. THE. END. OF. THIS. YEAR. YESSSSSSSS YAYYYYYY WHOOHOOOOOOOOO <3<3<3<3~~~~ :DDDDDD Supahhhh happy! :D I'll be going for 7 days!! and taking Singapore Airlines!!! Yesssss! And I'll see snow for the first time! Cos we're going skiiingggggg!!! <3 Also, it'll be in Dec which is like the coldest time of the year and i'll most prolly freeze to death or something but i dont mind cause omigosh it's korea can u believe it?! I thought i wouldnt have a chance to go Korea at all in my life!! Omggggggggggg though it's in a tour im gonna make the best out of it, just gonna try to speak as much korean, eat as much korean food, idk idk idk just everythingggggggggggggg ahhh omgosh so excited!!! I really really hope that it'll be a good and happy trip!!! fighting fighting fighting!!!! |
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Friday, August 19, 2011 @ 12:56:00 AM
I really hate myself.
I suck and the teacher knows I suck. Idk how to cope with this life. I should have taken this seriously from the start. Now regrets or tears can't change anything. Yeap. So I should watch as my jc life crumbles while I waste a year. Poly's not good either. I heard it's like many pws? I DONT EVER WANT TO GO TO A PLACE WITH PW. Why must there be so many requirements? Why don't i understand how to fulfil the requirements even after so much explanation? It's so tiring. My life is tiring. I wanna change, stop all these. But other routes? NONE. Jc has pw so no way. Poly has pw so no way. where else can i go?! BITCH. can't you just grit your teeth and push on? Didn't you always say that hard work pays off? Yah, but the problem now is hard work is seriously useless. I'm at such a loss. My EoM is so so so screwed, but idk how to improve on it at all. I'm so gonna flunk my pw, flunk my A's, not get into Uni, then go somewhere else to study more, and waste more time, and by the time I graduate from somewhere that is enough to get me a job, everyone would already be enjoying their golden years of their life, or are at their peak, and i'll be? Regretting. STOP. stop all these stupid nonsense. u can't stop now. No matter what, just charge forward. Wasn't that what you asked Wan Ting to do? Just close your eyes and charge forward. The storm will be over. You may get wet, but it'll be over. FIGHTING RUI YING. JIA YOU. PUSH ON OKAY? REMEMBER NO PAIN, NO GAIN. YOU'RE GONNA BENEFIT FROM IT. Now. Wipe your face and get going with your EoM. You wanna sleep early right? Smile okay! Labels: rants |
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Tuesday, March 15, 2011 @ 5:06:00 PM
Heyyy! I'm back! :DI've actually nothing much to blog about.. So I'll just be crapping about my life throughout. Last year was a very very fast year. It was over in a blink. It was pretty much just studying, slacking, then angry at myself for slacking, then studying again. I remember many first times last year. The first time I cooked proper dinners for the family, first time I studied and studied, first time I cut myself with a knife (it was an accident, obviously), first time I took my O's, first time I got a job.... I got back my results on 10th Jan, was it? L1R5 : 12. L1R4: 9. I kept crying when I got back my results. I wasn't expecting much. To be honest, I calculated my points while waiting for the results and I got 24. So I was actually quite ready to flunk. But when I got the results. It wasn't what I expected, but it wasn't really what I wanted either. It's not a very good result. it wasn't very bad either. I hate this kind of feeling. When something's in the middle. You don't hate it, but you don't like it either. Idk how to describe it. Hahaha. But anywayyyy. I'm over it, I'm surviving now, and I'm happy :D I got my posting results on 27th Jan. I got into CJC. It was my aunt's JC. I think she was pretty disappointed when she knew. Cause she was overseas at that time (she's always overseas), and she didn't reply my email.. Sighs. I know I could do better. I always knew it. Since primary school, secondary school, and now, JC. I always told myself I could do better, but I didn't. I always didnt.. I hate it. I hate telling myself that I should do something, and in the end I do nothing about it. Why am I like that? I hate it. I've no discipline at all. Sighs, anything.... What should I talk about now?? Me cooking dinner? cause mum was busy (she had two jobs during the 2nd semester), so I had to help her out. It made me realise that I've to be very busy before I'll work hard. Cause when I had to cook dinner, most of my time was used up, so I treasured the time I had for studying more. Next. Cutting myself? I remember I was slicing lotus root at that time. Damn! It was hard to slice! i tried to act smart by slicing it horizontally, but my finger was over there, and the chopper (YES. CHOPPER.) slipped and I got cut. Traumatizing. (Random note: OMG I JUST REALISED THAT THIS THINGY WILL AUTO UNDERLINE MY SPELLING ERRORS IN RED. HAHA!! COOL!) For a while I didn't dare to touch that chopper since then. The thought of it makes my toes curl.. I've a faint scar on my left index finger now :/ But whatever. I'll treat it as a lesson learnt! :D Next! About the job! I got it during the hols after my O's. Wendy's aunt intro-ed it to us. It was a pasting sticker job for a Korean company. YES. A 100% FROM KOREA COMPANY. It's super cool. I enjoyed the few days. THough it was tiring cause we needed to wake up early, and needed to meet the deadlines, I still enjoyed the times. Cause we could talk and laugh and dance at the warehouse as our boss wouldn't be there. :D But we'll still get the job done on time! :D About my life now....... I think it's great. I think I've really changed a lot. Cause I realised that I'm the one deciding if I want to be happy or not. Like a quote I saw on fb "Be a person with great smile, be happy and merry all the while; When things go wrong don't be blue. Just smile and say: "I will get this through." I'm gonna be a person like that. I'm gonna smile through everything. I like being happy. I like smiling. That's what changed my perspective of life. I love life now. Cause I'm happy. :D Or maybe it's cause of SHINee, SS501, Suju that I learnt to be happier. Cause they're sooooo funny! When I watch their vids, I just cant stop laughing. And perhaps they have taught me to smile, to laugh. I'm serious. So now I'm on the verge of being a crazy woman. Cause I'm just sooooooooo happy! :D I never ever expected that I'll take Judo for a CCA. YES. LOL. I'm in Judo. I'm really quite surprised myself. I'm a very timid, soft-spoken and soft-hearted person, so Judo really doesn't suit me. but when I saw that it';s offered as a CCA, I was like "WOW. Judo? I like..". And here I am. The soft-hearted me. Learning how to toss people to win. Haha. Okayyyy. So that's about it about my current life. :D See you! |
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Saturday, February 5, 2011 @ 11:36:00 PM
Omgggggggggg HELLO BLOGGGGG!!I haven't visited you in more than a year already.. But not many people blog anymore.. No matter! I'll still update you when I feel like or when i'm free kay!!! :D:D:D:D BTW I LOVE UNIVERSAL STUDIO SINGAPORE!!!!!!!!
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Thursday, December 10, 2009 @ 12:50:00 AM
I wanted to do this later, but If I do this after the Hong Kong trip it would be very messy, so here are the pictures taken in Malaysia:I kinda forgot the existence of a camara, so I didn't take as many pics. It was my first time taking a plane to Malaysia, and also the first time the plane journey took less than an hour in my life. So when the pilot announced that we were landing, I was kinda taken aback. My parents also seemed rather surprised, so they asked me to ask one of the air stewards/stewardesses to confirm the fact. The dumb me really did. Me: Umm excuse me, are we about to land? Steward: Uhh, yah. 30 minutes. Me: *shocked, pauses for 2 seconds* So fast? Steward: Yah, 30 minutes. Me: Orh, okay. Thank you. I really don't know what's so funny about this conversation, or if my parents were just kidding. But I ended up being laughed at. The steward looked like he was about to burst into laughter, too. Arghhh. So annoying. Anyway, we took an express train from KLIA (Kuala Lumpur International Airport) to the terminal, then walked to the LRT, or what looked like a LRT to our hotel. During this whole journey, my shoes really were killing me. It's really damn hard to walk in those shoes and, on top of that, they gave me blisters. :/ The worst part is that we walked afew big rounds around that hotel cum shopping mall before finding the hotel part of that building. Gosh. But it was all worth it. The suite was huge. Well, at least to me. The bed was really comfortable. And the free slippers too. The bathroom was like 3.5 times bigger than my house's toilet. But my house's toilet isn't very big, so it wasn't much, really. Then we went out to shop, before returning to the hotel for a tour around. This picture was taken at the swimming pool place, before you walk up those steps and see the pool part of it. Btw bought new flipflops at that time already, and continued wearing it throughout our trip.  We took turns to look retarded.  We shopped and shopped. I mean WINDOW shopped in this context. There's really nothing much to shop in KL.. This is the second day's breakfast cafe. Rephrase: This is the cafe we had breakfast in on the second day. Yeeeeeeap.  Forgot to take a picture of it before I ate. This is my brother's breakfast anyway. Dk where mine went.  This is damn cool. I didn't know Jackie Chan Had a cafe.  See the people lying there? That's how you're supposed to dine in Jackie Chan's cafe. Damn cool right? But didn't go there. Just walked past. D:  Was bored.  We took this on the last day. Haha. I forgot the rest of the details on the second day. I think we just shopped. WINDOW shopped. Oh! And I think I went to an internet cafe right? haha.    Damn. My hair was messy. That's my new hairstyle. Soulmate, here it is. Happy? I very good right!  Initially, I ordered this. But it's really very spicy. So I exchanged it with my mum. :/  This is very very oily. But not bad.  Wasn't very good.. It's a far cry from the Small Dragen Buns (Xiao Long Baos) I had in Taiwan. The skin is not as elastic. But my brothers enjoyed it. They ordered 2 longs (as in chinese that long) of it.  This is also not as good as the one I had in Taiwan. Heh. But I had quite afew. Ate quite alot here. Cause I ordered alot, so couldn't waste.  Yes, I ordered this too.  This was my mum's. but she exchanged it with me. The chicken cutlet had bones. Damn sick right! I thought chicken cutlets have no bones! So annoying..  Me, seriously eating.  We visited this place like 3 times. Dk why my brother likes it so much. It's not like it's authentic. Seriously no offence. Just feel that if they want to eat Taiwanese cuisine? Taiwan Food? they should go to Taiwan.    The drink on the foreground is mine. Red Plum juice, I think it's called. Rephrase: I think it's called red blum juice. Plum. I mean. That tiny container can really contain alot of water! I had a hard time trying to finish the drink. Until I got all bloated!  Oops, forgot to turn. Sorry. Please turn your head instead. See this? It's a really good deal right!  But it's damn oily. Sorry it looks like this. I didn't eat them. But I did help in reducing the oil content. Heh.  This is also 1 Ringgit. Smells weird honestly. But my brother loved it. He ate two bowls.   Okay, that's all! Get ready for the Hong Kong pictures, where I'll be attending a concert~~ SS501's concert!! See you!! :D |